So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
