It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
