Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
