I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
