I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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