my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
