you would pick up someone in the library
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
