I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just fell off a train. Bad.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
