6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
