love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I didn't shave. On purpose
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
