I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
