I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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