he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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