Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
