Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
