there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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