one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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