i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize