I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
