I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
