I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
