when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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