it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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