and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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