She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
