so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
