Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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