"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
