You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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