its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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