i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
