and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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