it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?