oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.