Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.