i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
