Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
