Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize