He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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