oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
not ubering you a puppy
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
