Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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