his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
