yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My vagina is very pro this idea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize