the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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