hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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