When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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