He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
