Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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