Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize