quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
