Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
