so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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