apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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