I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
