so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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