i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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