I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
