YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
