I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
