Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
