SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize