Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
