woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My life is pants optional.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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