Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
