Well douche your snatch and let's go!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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