i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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