wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You need a sexual gate keeper
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize