I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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