So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
