they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
