miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize